The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!
by Avalon Estel
Summary: BWAHAHAHA! Yes, a sequel to Elven Vanity, and this time without the Fellowship!
1. Lady of the Golden Wood

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!!

A/N: And you thought I was gone. HA! You thought I was finished. HA! You all underestimated me! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Because now, the LotR Limericks Strike Back!!! Now I shall create a new series of limericks that will make you laugh, cry, double over in helpless giggle fits, and send you banging your head against the computer desk in attempts to put an end to this madness! Yes, the LotR limericks are back and better than ever! Now you get the story from all those other guys who aren't in the Fellowship! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, I need to stop that. I'm giving myself coughing spasms… And now, the insanely strange mind of Avalon Estel presents…

More limericks!!

P.S. – Thanks and random bags of tortilla chips to all the people who reviewed "Elven Vanity, and Other FOTR Limericks"! So far I've 57 reviews for that one. I'm gonna cry…

Lady of the Golden Wood

Lady Galadriel of Lothlorien am I,

And I intend to invade all your minds.

I'll turn scary and blue,

And there's naught you can do.

Your embarrassing moments I'll find!

A/N: Not all that great, but good for a start. Please review, but no bad words, please!


	2. A Balrog Slayer's Distress

The LotR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Welcome back, guys! Glad you liked it! Thanks to: swee-haret179, LilStripedTomato, ejwgirl2, Miss Piratess, inuyashachibiwriter, Kalayna, and Malara!

A Balrog-Slayer's Distress

"_Noro lim_, Asfaloth!" is what I'm meant to say,

but all of you other Elves get in the way.

Bakshi put the Mirkwood prince,

Arwen's taken over since.

Once I get hold of my lawyer, they'll pay!

A/N: Glorfy's kinda bitter, eh? I just got a nutty idea. How about when you guys review, you tell me which character you want to see, and I'll writea limerick for 'em? Here's your choices: Elrond, Saruman, Gollum, or Arwen. Please, when you review, don't curse! Thanks!


	3. Revenge

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: And Gollum wins! Thank-you's go out to: swee-haret179, Malara, god sent angel, BanbieBunny, Kalayna, LilStripedTomato, Miss Piratess (I LUV Glorfy!! He's my fave Elf!), and Lost! And here's the limerick!

Revenge

They stealses the Precious, those Hobbitses do.

They's ugly and nasty and stinky pigs, too.

But we leads them there,

and "she" eats the pair,

and Smeagol's the winner, that's who! 


	4. Elrond's Eyebrows of Doom

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Thank-you's to Seerandgel, Miss Piratess, swee-haret179, Malara, BanbieBunny, Here comes the hockey puck, Super Shayde, and LilStripedTomato. This is dedicated to my sisters for helping me with this!

Elrond's Eyebrows of Doom

Each one of them has a mind of its own.  
Their plots for world domination are full-blown!  
Elves think I'm the boss,  
but their thoughts aren't worth floss,  
because Middle-Earth my eyebrows will own!

A/N: I'm sorry it's so weird. I was feeling REALLY random! Hope you liked it, Banbie and Lil! And everyone else! 


	5. The Evenstar's Annoyance

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Many thanks to: LilStripedTomato, Here comes the hockey puck, Super Shayde, Malara, and swee-haret179!

The Evenstar's Annoyance

I can't take much more of this boring humdrum,

And my dear one and only smells just like a bum,

Daddy told him to leave,

And though I'm s'posed to grieve,

This war thing is really quite fun!


	6. Lork, the Unknown Orc

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Many thanks to: BanbieBunny, Miss Piratess, Here comes the hockey puck, swee-haret179, Super Shayde, LilStripedTomato, Piratica (Wow, thanks for the ton of reviews! Um, let's see… Bakshi was a director of an animated version of LotR. A very scary one, at that. I don't recommend it. And Elrond's Eyebrows of Doom? Well, haven't you looked at his eyebrows in FotR when Merry and Pippin run past at the Council of Elrond? That was the inspiration.), Malara (you're drowning me with the possibilities!!), and Kalayna!

This is not a character from the books OR movies. Lork is an OC, and only has these two poems to speak for him. He was inspired the night FotR premiered on tv here in America, and my sis had said that Lurtz was an orc. So, being the critic that I am, I said, "Lurtz isn't an orc!" and my dad goes, "Who's Lork?" Thus, we were inspired to write this:

Lork was an orc,

Who's a dork

And eats pork

With a fork.

Orc, orc, orc!

I, however, managed to turn it into a limerick:

Lork, the Unknown Orc

Lork was a little-known orc

Who usually dressed like a dork.

He enjoyed eating pork

Off the prongs of a fork

And often exclaimed, "Orc, orc, orc!"

A/N: A waste of time? Yes. Stupid? Most definitely. Funny? I think so. Do you? I will post again within a couple days, I promise!


	7. Woes of a Sister Son

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Argh, it took a little longer than planned, but here I am! I'm sorry everyone! Thank you to Malara (my dad came up with the "Orc, orc, orc!" thing!), LilStripedTomato (Actually, when I wrote it, "Mork and Mindy" came to mind, as I've seen it before. And I don't eat pork, either. It's banned in my religion. This limerick's for you!), Here comes the hockey puck, Miss Piratess, Piratica (Sorry about your dad. Elvis? Interesting. My parents really like LOTR. Heck, my mom actually knows most of the characters' names!), and swee-haret179!

Woes of a Sister-Son

My Uncle Theoden's turned into a mummy  
'cause he and old Grima have gotten quite chummy.  
'Wyn's toxic soup  
is why I flew the coop  
now the other guys all call me "dummy"!


	8. World Domination

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Thank-yous go out to Super Shayde, Here comes the hockey puck, Malara, LilStripedTomato (I'm glad I could cheer you up a bit), BanbieBunny, Rhys (Nope, sorry! Lork is private property!)! I really appreciate it, and I'm really sorry that it took so long for me to update this.

World Domination

A big bloodshot Eye will be ruler of all,  
And it gives me commands through a heavy, black ball.  
I'm Manny the White!  
Though I'm old, I can fight,  
And one day, to me they'll all crawl!

A/N: Eee… I hope you all like it…


	9. The Tenth Walker

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Thanks to Here comes the hockey puck, swee-haret179, BanbieBunny, Malara, LilStripedTomato (My sister is thrilled that you're reading her story, and I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle hugs), Piratica (Okay, first, you have no right to feel unloved. You didn't review the last chapter. I only thank people who review the previous chapter. And what's with the "it could be funnier"? Huh? HUH? Why don't _you_ try writing these things? It's not easy! Don't worry, I'm joking.), Rhys (No, it's not. I can too.), and Tazz (yes, of doom! Way too much). Thank you, everyone! I now have66 reviews!

* * *

The reason I am writing this particular limerick is in honor of my sister Arwen, who is absolutely obsessed with this particular character. Thus, this limerick is dedicated to Arwen. The Tenth Walker

They all think they're so brave and so smart,

And I carry their stuff like some wagon or cart.

I do all the work,

And they're all great big jerks.

I am Bill, with a valiant heart!


	10. Figwittiness

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Thanks to swee-haret179 (he deserves it, doesn't he?), Malara (I'm sorry! I fixed it! I fixed it! You could post it. I wouldn't think you were copying. Yay for Bill! _claps_), Miss Piratess (that it is!), vanyarelves (thank you! I love writing these stupid things.), Here comes the hockey puck (Hee, hee... So does my sister!), Super Shayde (No, you're not. But now you are! Thank you!), Voldie on Varsity Track (Interesting name. I do? XD), Kalayna (Ditto!), LilStripedTomato (I'm glad you're glad. I'm also glad that you're doing all right. _pout_ No, Lit papers are never fun to write. Curse their evilness!)! I appreciate it!

As of today, 3/1/05,I have been part of the ff community for six months. I thought it proper to celebrate with a new limerick.

Figwittiness

I am an Elf that doesn't exist,

and I have been dubbed by many "Figwit".

My nostrils arebig

and I'm wearing a wig

but I've fangirls wherever I sit!


	11. A Rant on Equal Rights

The LOTR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Thank you to: swee-haret179, Here comes the hockey puck, Super Shayde, Malara (_eats cake_ Thank you! And it takes about a half an hour to write one of these, on average. I'm glad you pointed that out for me! _kills grammar mistakes _Figgy's not mine, though!), Miis Piratess, Kalayna, Piratica (Yes, Bill does sound funny if you say it enough. _snicker_ I tried it! And Figwit is an Elf who was at the Council in the EE), Mireath Warrior (I'm glad you've enjoyed it this much!), LilStripedTomato (Figgy scares me, too!), andReasonably crazy (Aw, thank you! _hugs_ That's too sweet!)!

A Rant on Equal Rights

Among the Rohirrim, anti-feminism rules,  
and they regard women as cooking tools.  
But look at that! I  
brought the Witch-King's demise!  
Girl power, you chauvinist fools!


	12. The Angry Marchwarden

The LotR Limericks Strike Back!

A/N: Haha! I'm back! I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, and I'm so sorry that it's been so long. I hope you like this.

_The Angry Marchwarden_

In fanfics, you all make me sneer,  
I'm "arrogant, snide old Haldir".  
I am _not_ deceased,  
as you fangirls believe.  
I'm alive and a nice guy, you hear?


End file.
